Cheetoh Girl

Gaga

2010-07-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

Ok. Who is this Gaga chick and why is she copying my style? Ya'll I cain't get nowhere without some new chick tryin to get over on me! She even stole my song 'Telephone' ya'll!!!!! Just look at that album cover! She's copying Blondie on that one ya'll!

I've been so busy workin on the new album and gettin' it already for ya'll. I been losin tha weight real nice too! I'm on this new diet called 'Baby Food Diet' and it's really workin' ya'll! Ya got to try it! Y'all be good. Be back soon. I won't be gone so long next time ya'll!

I lost 5 Pounds!

2008-08-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

Ya'll it's hard losin weight after you have youngins. I didn't think I could ever get my figger back after havin them boys! I still have some to go ya'll but give me some credit ya'll!

Madonna told me she knew I could do it ya'll! That makes me feel better!

Things are lookin up! I'll blog more later ya'll. There's a venti and it's callin my name!

Yall Madonna Asked Me To Tour

2008-07-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

Ya'll know Madonna's my idol. She called me up and asked me to tour with her ya'll! I had to turn her down cos we're thinkin about doin my own world tour soon. I did agree to make a video for her tour though, ya'll. She's doin somethin real cool with her song Human Nature. I caint wait for ya'll to hear it!

I'm sorry I ain't been bloggin in here for ya'll much, but I am so busy. I did some acting bits and it was well received ya'll! I'm so disappointed in sales of my Blackout album ya'll! Ya'll let me down on that one didn't ya'll! It really hurt my feelins. I hope ya'll will buy the album soon. It's very important to keep it goin ya'll! Have a Happy 4th and I'll try to blog more and let ya'll know what's up with me and my youngins!

I'm OK Yall

2008-03-14T06:43:00.000-07:00

So many of ya'll fans has been writin wontin to know how I'm doin an all. I'm ok. Other than my daddy takin over my life and all that stuff like havin to pay my own daddy an allowance cause he won't go to work and make his own money. Other than the fact that I'm bein guarded and held hostage in my own home and all. I can't even go buy my own damn frap and shit like that. I'm so damn mad. They took my laptop computer thingy and wouldn't let me blog or nothin! Today I snuck in the other room and did this blog post just fer ya'll! I hope ya'll still care about me. I hope ya'll will buy my album. Thanks to all ya'll for yer support!!!!

I'm Locked Up Yall

2008-02-02T15:00:00.000-08:00

My parents have taken over my money, ya'll! I went ballistic when I found this out. I told them they could shove that money up their ass! Ya'll these people are holdin me hostage in this bed. They have even strapped me down some of the time, but I'm gonna be ok. I just want you all to know that I will be ok. I will be ok, ya'll. They are givin me all kinds of crazy drugs and injections and IVees. I don't know what to do. Yesterday there was this real nice nurse lady and I begged her to go to Starbucks and get me a caramel frap size venti and she did. That made this place almost bearable ya'll.

The worst thing is they are makin me take showers while they watch! It's sick! Ya'll what is going to happen to me? I'm startin to think my family is puttin me here just so they can get my money. Say some prayers for me. I am cravin me some Doritos right now. A quarter pounder with cheese would be good too, but make it a double! I hope that nice nurse comes in tonight. I'll send her to get me another frap. I'll write more later. My friend was nice enough to let me use her laptopl. I hope ya'll are havin a better week than I am. Bye.

Ya'll What's Up?

2008-01-31T14:35:00.001-08:00

They done threw me in the hospital again ya'll! They are forcing me to take some stupid drug! Pray for me ya'll. I don't know what they are doin to me.

I'm so mad at my mama. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

They Took My Car Yall!

2008-01-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Cain't a girl catch a break. The cops took my car after I had a flat tire! 2008 is startin off to bein a bitch ya'll!

I almost forgot. I threw a fit in the hospital and they finally let me go, but that jerk Dr. Phil showed up. I tried to tell him I knew he ain't a real Dr. ya'll, but he just kept on and on talkin a bunch of bull. He thought he could trick me into comin on his show. Ya'll I showed him didn't I!?

They done took my kids again ya'll. I need to find OJ's attorney. If they can get him out of murder surely they can get me my youngins back. I didn't do nothin wrong. If they didn't like my dancin on the MTV show, that ain't no reason to take my kids! Grrrrr! 2008 better get better quick like!

Starbucks here I come! I go away for a couple days and their stock drops! I'm sure gonna buy me some of that stock. I'm not as dumb as people say I am ya'll!

Yall What's Happenin To Me?

2008-01-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

I woke up this mornin' and they have put me in the hospital ya'll! I don't remember comin' here or nothin! I think I'm bein' set up. Somebody's out to get me. I know who it is ya'll. I might not get to post much. I wouldn't be able to post this without my friend's Iphone thingamajig. Ya'll, if I'm not back soon, please pray for me. The paps is crazy and I think my ex is out to get me. Do they have Starbucks in hospitals? I need one bad! I'm in remission! I gotta go now. Somebody's comin.

Chris Rock Rocks Yall

2008-01-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

Chris Rock took up for me ya'll! He said:

"Britney Spears, boy. Even OJ kept his kids, and he even killed their mother. Britney went and messed up her dance moves at the MTV awards and they took her kids away. Go rehearse and get your kids back."

Ya'll it ain't that simple, but I see what he's sayin and all. They say that what don't kill ya makes ya stronger. I should be one strong girl, ya'll! I will be better prepared next time I perform and all ya'll. Ya'll, that's my New Year's Institution.

That jerk is here to pick up the kids. I cain't even blog without that jerk botherin me ya'll! I ain't givin' him the kids back. NO WAY! Don't these people know who I am?

The cops is here ya'll! What am I gonna do? Pray for me ya'll. HEEEEEELLLLP!

Hope Yall Had A Great Christmas!

2007-12-27T13:46:00.001-08:00

I sure had me a good Christmas, ya'll! I got this new digital camera and it is SWEET! I spent some quality time with my boys and gave them some cool toys and edukational ones too! I had some good times ya'll. I tried to keep out of trouble for the most part and it looks like I suckceded. I did get stalked by the paps when I was tryin to take a dump at a store, but other than that it was awesome! My friend gave me a gift card to Starbucks and I already used that sucker up on fraps! Fraps and Paps....that would be a good name for my autobiography thingy. Have a great evenin ya'll!

Yall This Is FUNNY!

2007-12-21T07:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just gotta laugh to get through the hard times in life, ya'll. Ya'll, I'm gonna make this resolution now that in 2008 I am gonna laugh my ass off! I hope ya'll have a good Christmas. Don't be offended by this video my friend sent me! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Season's Greetins Yall

2007-12-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna let 2007 hurt me anymore. There's only a few days left in this awful year and all I wanna say is I hope ya'll have a happy Christmas! Here's a video somebody sent me of a drag queen performin. Ya'll are gonna like this one! Thanks to all of ya'll for makin this year at least bearable for me!

OMG My Little Sister Is Knocked Up Yall

2007-12-18T18:47:00.000-08:00

I am so upset with my family. They have known this since around Thanksgivin ya'll. I am in shock. No amount of frap can make me feel better. Ya'll cain't a girl catch a break? I cannot believe this is comin out right now when I have my new single and video ya'll! Why me? 2007 is the worst year of my life. OMG. What' s next on the crap to happen to me this year ya'll? I gotta call Madonna and get me some new Kobobalah bracelets. I'm so out of it. Please say somethin nice and all ya'll. I feel so retarded. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lawyers and Paps and Cops...Oh My

2007-12-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

Ya'll, sometimes I feel like Dorothy...only I'm not in Oz. I'm in hell ya'll! I mean Dorothy had to deal with witches, munchkins and flying monkeys and I'm stuck dealin with lawyers, paps, cops, stalkers, and shit like that ya'll! There are times I wish I could be over the rainbow and happy and all that stuff. I hope ya'll have a great day. I'm fixin to go to Starbucks and get a Venti. I can't decide if I want Caramel or Java Chip. Any suggestions?

My New Video Airs Tonight Yall

2007-12-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

Ya'll my "Piece of Me" music video will debut tonight on ABC’s news magazine 20/20. Tune at 10 pm EST for the first look at my new video. Ya'll are in for a treat!

Read This Book Yall

2007-12-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

Here is the voice of Jesus as though he were speaking to ya'll on yer favorite TV show. Paul Ferrini has give us a glimpse into the timeless wisdom and love that must have been witnessed by the first disciples. As His words have been rewritten over the centuries, and their original essence diluted, they are reinstated here ya'll, in absolute clarity and stinging soul searching honesty. The only thing that stands between ya'll and a truly spriritual approach to living is...ya'll! Hear the Galalian Master's voice as it has not been heard before. I am getting chills just writing this ya'll, because this book reaches past any religion, and past hurts and walls you may have erected between you and the divine. "Invite the presence of God into your life, and he will come ya'll, we (the ego) just have to step aside."

Love Is A Losin Game Yall

2007-12-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

I love me some Amy Winehouse ya'll. I feel her. I can so relate to her and what she's goin through. Here's her new video. Watch this. It's so true ya'll...

Yall This Frap's So Good It Makes Me Wanna Slap My Mama

2007-12-08T08:28:00.001-08:00

Ya'll need to get to a Starbucks near ya'll and get one of these yummy fraps. I told the guy at Starbucks that this frap was so good it makes me wanna slap my mama. He looked at me like I's retarded or somethin ya'll! Them people sure can hire some slow employees. That is just a simple expression I use from time to time. One of my former bodyguards used to say it ya'll. Have a great weekend! I will. I just know it!

Fitness Tip For Yall: Apples

2007-12-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

Apples are rich in pectin, a soluble fiber ya'll, which helps the body to eliminate cholesterol and also protects ya'll from environmental toxins. Research has shown that 2 apples a day can lower cholesterol by up to 10%. Apples also contain malic acid which helps to treat rich fatty foods like fraps, ya'll!

Apples are also a good source of that stuff called vitamin C which is good for ya'll.

50 calories per medium apple. Damn! I wonder if Starbucks offers an apple frap! I'm gonna ask em!

Friends Don't Let Friends Drunk Dial Yall

2007-12-06T06:37:00.000-08:00

Dear blogger ya'll,

I had too much to drink at my party on my birthday ya'll! I got a little buzz and called up my ex and asked him to come party with me. The jerk said no and I felt so cheap and used and hurt. This just ain't been a good year fer me and my family and all ya'll. I can't name all the bad things that've happened cos there's just too many. The jerk keeps goin back to court accusin me of shit that I didn't do. Now he's gotem investigatin me for abuse and crap. You know I never did nothin like that ya'll! 2007 has been a bitch! Please pray for me to have a better 2008. And don't forget to buy that Blackout album. Click here bitch.

A Very Special Holiday Message Yall

2007-12-03T10:12:00.000-08:00

Click here or click the picture to the left of ya'll to check out this very special holiday message I made fer all ya'll! It's me as a elf. Ain't I cute!

Happy Birthday To ME Yall

2007-12-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday ya'll. Are ya gonna send me somethin? You know where I live and you probably know what I like an all. I hope somebody gives me a gift card to Starbucks with over a thousand to spend on Fraps! That would be awesome ya'll! I would love some big ole bag of Cheetos or some good perfume. I need some of that shit that Jessicka Simpson sells to help with zits. I've been havin breakouts ya'll. Hell...I shoulda called the album Breakout! That would be funny ya'll. Well leave me some comments and tell me somethin nice fer my birthday. You know what....I need to hear somethin sweet an all ya'll!

I'm So Busy Yall

2007-11-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry I ain't been postin much lately. I'm workin on my next video project and it's gonna be a gooden. My album is still the best one out ya'll even if it ain't sellin the best. I'm so proud of it and all ya'll! Just keep on believin like me. I cain't drive with the kids no more, but I can afford somebody to drive us ya'll! I'm so thirsty. I think it's time for a frap ya'll! I hope ya'll had a good Turkey Day! My ex had the kids, but he promises to give em to me for Christmas and all. I cain't wait till then! I'm gonna get me one of them Santa Claus hats and run around town with it on my head. I will look so sexy ya'll! I hope to read some of your comments this week! I'll post more later. I have some interestin blog subjects to talk to ya'll about!

George Clooney Is My Hero Yall

2007-11-20T12:06:00.000-08:00

Mr. Clooney is takin up for me! He is so dreamy! Read this..

ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT sat down with George Clooney yesterday in Los Angeles in an interview to air on Tuesday, November 20th. Last Friday, while on his motorcycle in the Hollywood Hills, Clooney was nearly in an accident with paparazzi trying to take his picture. "It's not about shooting pictures, it's about the risks they're taking and driving with reckless abandon. I live on a street where everyone hikes. There are mothers with strollers and elderly people. What they're doing is illegal, it's high speed chases and they're competing with each other. They're not trying to catch me doing something stupid, they're trying to create me doing something stupid. You don't get to break all these laws and then say 'I'm just doing my job.' The guys that commit all these crimes are rewarded for it. It creates bounty hunters in a way. They cry poor... then look at the cars they're driving... Mercedes and Land Rovers." Clooney goes on to defend Britney Spears and her driving skills, "You look at the footage of Britney running the red light... there's eight guys with cameras at night in the middle of the street. There are no rules now. It sounds like a bunch of well-off people whining about how difficult their life is but I really don't believe that is the case. It's getting to a point where people that are not involved are getting hurt."

What would Clooney like to say to the paparazzi? "I'm the son of an anchorman. I don't want to restrict anyone's rights. Take your pictures but don't go 60 mph down a one way street. Don't cause injury to people who aren't involved."

Yall Have Gotta Read This Book

2007-11-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

I finally finished a book ya'll! This one is called 50 Truths Worth Knowin. Ya'll should read thisin. It's awesome! I feel so retarded for talkin to ya'll about books an all, but I liked this book and thought ya'll'd like it.

Click here to order this sucker!

Happy Fall Yall

2007-11-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna do my best to be positive ya'll. I know there's a lot of negative vibes and all around me ya'll, but I got ta try harder to be better. I just wanna say Happy Fall Ya'll! I just know thangsil get better.

It Ain't Supposed To Be Like This

2007-11-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

From Billboard Ya'll:

Selling 87,000 copies, Britney Spears' "Blackout" (Jive) slips 2-7 with a 70% sales hit in its second week

What is wrong with my album ya'll? Are ya'll buyin it or is it really doin this bad. I know Billboard's out ta get me, but this is retarded! Let me know in the comments if ya'll are gonna get out and buy that album. It's real good! I don't get it!

I Support The Strikin Writers Yall

2007-11-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

I have supported the writin strikers. I took almost a week off from writin my blog. I thought ya'll should know why I was doin it. I know I don't write all my songs and all ya'll, but I did write some of em. I also write this blog. So I guess you could say I'm a writer ya'll. Please support the strikin writers. That's all I have to say about that.

Thanks to Team Britney Yall

2007-11-12T06:37:00.000-08:00

Ya'll are too kind. Goin through all that trouble and supportin me like that. I am at a loss for words. I am havin a bad week ya'll. I ran a stop light a few days ago and them paps got it on tape. Now my ex is gonna use it in court against me. I just want ya'll to pray for me and all ya'll. Till then I can just hope for the best. I hope I can get some better karma ya'll. Ya'll, it's hard workin and bein a mama. Have a good week!

Billboard Can Kiss My Ass

2007-11-06T21:35:00.001-08:00

Ya'll that ain't right that they changed the rules on me. I was supposed to be number one! The Eagles! They are old enough to be my great great grandpapas! I caint believe this is happenin to me. Ya'll must not of bought the album. I'm hurt. Cryin in my frap. How could everybody do this to me? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

A Poem For All Yall

2007-11-06T09:06:00.000-08:00

Very tasty treat ya'll
Every single day I have one or I bawl
Nothing makes my day
Til a good frap comes my way
If it's not this size...go away!

Chandaleer Shoppin

2007-11-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

I love chandaleers! They are so pretty and shiny in any home environment ya'll. I stopped this weekend and checked some out and was sold on this one which had shiny gold balls on it. Of course the paps had to get pictures of my kids in the car with Cheeto dust all over their faces! Humiliate me! They all wanna piece of me, but they shouldn't do that to my youngins ya'll. That ain't right. Don't you agree?

I Caint Even Go Shoppin

2007-11-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

I'd like to personally thank all ya'll girls for helpin me out by directin traffic for me. Ya'll made my day!

Lazy Bum Can Work Yall

2007-11-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

In a couple of weeks this lazy bum I know is going to have to go back to workin ya'll! I mean seriously does he think I'm going to pay him every month for nothing? And just wait till I get them kids back! He'll get even less money. Oh. I'm so sorry. I'm just rantin and ravin about my life and I totally didn't ask you how your weekend is goin ya'll. I'm havin a gooden. Just chillin ya'll! Talk more later. Gotta go. The club is callin ya'll!

This is Crazy Yall

2007-11-02T11:28:00.001-07:00

One of ya'll sent in this picture to me. It's a real room somebody made out of Cheetos! Hell, I would've had a hard time makin that. I would've wanted to eat them suckers! They even made some people out of em! I know that girl had to eat at least one of em! LOL!

Hope Yall Had a Good'en!

2007-11-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger Ya'll,

I hope all ya'll had a good'en last night. I had so much fun at some parties and all ya'll! It was a blast. I didn't eat too much candy, but I still had fun!

I just wanna remind ya'll that the cd is in the stores now. Beware of downloadin it on them free sites. I heard there is a virus in the bootleg versions that will erase your computer. I'm not responsible if your computer stops workin ya'll! If you have downloaded it, you should delete it and then run your virus software two times. Don't say I didn't try to warn ya'll!

Poll Results Yall

2007-11-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

My first poll is closed now ya'll. It looks like most of ya'll listen to sad songs when you are down. "Go Clubbin and Cry" came in a close second. I'm really surprised that not many of ya'll eat Cheetos when you're down or get a Venti Frap! I guess you cain't predict 'em all!

Don't forget to vote in my new poll. I hope that 5 is the winner! If it is, I'll surely sell a million copies of Blackout ya'll! I think my album is number one in America! Carrie Underwear won't be so happy when she finds out!

Happy Halloween Yall!

2007-10-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say Happy Halloween and remind ya'll to buy the new album. It's out now!

This bitch made this awful video insultin me. Look at it and if you like go over to that youtube thingy and give her a piece of yawl's mind!

I Hate Zits Yall!

2007-10-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

I guess I should get some of the Proactive shit that Jessica Simpson sells, but how fast does it work ya'll? The album drops today and there ain't no zit cover shit that's gonna hide these suckers! I had this party last night celebratin the album and these zits just popped out. My friend called me Zit Brit. I didn't mean to slap her, but my hand sure flew up to her face real fast ya'll!

Album of the Year Yall!

2007-10-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

Blackout, the new album, is out now ya'll! Make sure you buy it all up! I don't mean to brag, but I think it's gonna be the album of the year at the Grammy Awards! I know Amy Winehouse has a good album and all ya'll, but her album sounds old. Mine sounds all new and fresh! If you don't feel like goin to the store to buy it, just click below and get ya'll a few copies!

What's Up Ya'll?

2007-10-29T04:33:00.000-07:00

What's up ya'll? I had a busy weekend. I went to court and almost lost it when some bitch got in my face. That parentin coach is tryin to make me sound bad ya'll. I don't know what's gonna happen, but it didn't sound good. Maybe things'll work out in the end. I should find out more in a week or two. People sure can be awful!

I went out clubbin' this weekend. I met up with some friends. Me and Avril are gettin along pretty good now. She used to dis me in the press, but that Kabbalah stuff has taught me how to forgive and all ya'll and I'm tryin so hard not to let my girl M down this time. I think I'm doin better! I didn't stay out all night. I left before closin time!

I put this picture up above cos somebody told me they are sellin muffins named after me. Is that true ya'll? Couldn't I sue them over this ya'll even if it's goin to charity? Click here and see what you think. I can tell already. This is gonna be a 3 venti frap day ya'll!

Who The Hell is Cher Spears Ya'll?

2007-10-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is disgusting ya'll!

What Part of Ya'll Don't Ya'll Understand?

2007-10-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

Some of ya'll have written in to me wantin to know what ya'll means. I went on the internets and I think I can tell you now. I don't want to be like some other pop divas and start teachin ya'll things like I know everything about life or somethin! ;) Here it is to the best of my google usin skills...

Y'all, sometimes misspelled as "Ya'll", "Yawl", or "Yaw", and archaically spelled "You-all", is a fused grammaticalization of the phrase "you all". It is used primarily as a plural second-person pronoun, and less commonly as a singular second-person pronoun. Commonly believed to have originated in the Southern United States, it is primarily associated with Southern American English, African American Vernacular English, and some dialects of the Western United States.

Parentin Classes Suck Ya'll!

2007-10-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have started my parentin classes ya'll and let's just say they ain't no fun. This bitch actually told me that instead of saying things like 'You're always bringing the kids home late because you're an insensitive jerk, I should say 'When you bring the kids home late, I feel like you're not valuing my time, and I feel hurt or angry as a result.' I asked her "How 'bout if I say...Bring them kids on time next time dumbass!" She didn't like that. I tried to tell her I was just jokin! Cain't a girl catch a break ya'll?

I Got 4 Stars Ya'll!

2007-10-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

The first review of my album is up ya'll and it's a gooden! Ya'll have got to read it. Click here to read it ya'll! I need me a frap now. I need frap when I'm happy or sad. Just hook me up to a frap IV and I'll be happy for life ya'll!

OMG Ya'll Look At This Picture!

2007-10-22T14:51:00.001-07:00

They made me look like a pig! How do they do that? I'm really not that fat ya'll! Cain't a girl get some ice cream without them doing this crap ya'll? OMG!

The Ultimate Treat

2007-10-22T07:23:00.001-07:00

Dear Blogger Ya'll,

When them kids come to your door and say, "Trick or Treat!" How about pullin out one of my new CDs ya'll? Buy a stack of 'em and hand 'em out on Halloween! It comes out on Halloween Eve so you should have no problem with it! I have included a handy link for ya to buy 'em right up! My manager says you should expect at least 25 kids on Halloween if you live in the city and more if it is a larger city. You may want to purchase extras just in case. You never know ya'll!

What are your kids going as? I want mine to be cute little pumpkins! I might wear a black wig and go as Elvira! That would be a hoot ya'll!

More Good Times Ya'll!

2007-10-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger Ya'll,

I got my kids back again! I got me another frap too! Do you like my new smackers? I'm gonna have to buy some extra chap stick for this winter ya'll! Just jokin. I'm in such a good mood ya'll! These are some good times! I hope ya'll are havin a good weekend. Don't forget to pre-order some of them Blackout albums ya'll!

Buy A Pap's Sock Ya'll!

2007-10-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger Ya'll!

They are actually sellin that pap's sock with my tire print on it for charity ya'll! Folks sure are crazy these days. I run over some pap's foot and they sell their sock on the internets. Oh well. At least it's for a good cause ya'll. Click here if you wanna buy it.

Let A Girl Eat Ya'll!

2007-10-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

I cain't even eat my damn food these days without some pap takin a picture of me lookin like a hog ya'll! I mean let a girl eat! They pounce and wait until I have got my mouth open and all tryin ta make me look bad! Give a girl a break! And what's up with my album bein number 70 on Amazon? Ya'll please start buyin it! PLEASSSEEEEEEEE! Click that link below and order the cd. Try and get me up higher on the chart! They are sayin it's floppin ya'll! That ain't right!

My Commercial Ya'll!

2007-10-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ya'll have got to watch this! It's so awesome ya'll!

Pap's Foot Vs. My New Lips!

2007-10-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

That pap put his foot under my tire ya'll. I swear. I didn't do nothin wrong! He was tryin his best to get a picture of my lips!

I had some injections on my lips. I wanted me some juicy lips for the upcomin tour and all. Ya'll are gonna love em! Yep. Angelina eat your heart out girl!

What Kind of Fuckery Is This?

2007-10-18T12:37:00.001-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Ya'll, when I was a kid I had one of them mood rings that would change colors dependin on how you was feelin. If I had one now it'd be black as tar. That judge is just out to get me ya'll! I hope I can get my kids back somehow but I don't know. I been listenin to Amy Winehouse. I love that word she made up called "fuckery" cos that's what I wanna say to that judge. What kinda fuckery is this?

McD for Me Ya'll

2007-10-18T08:34:00.001-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Yesterday I was craving me some Mickey D's ya'll. The nice pap agreed to go and buy it for me to eat ya'll! I love me some of them Mickey D's fries. There ain't nothin' like a venti frap and some Mickey D's. Wash all that down with one of them there red bull thingies and ya'll are good to go. I'm so excited about my new music and perfumes and all ya'll. It's been so hard workin on all this stuff with all the dramz and all in my life, but a country girl can survive ya'll! Maybe I'll write a book about all this. I could just call it "Dramz" and people would buy that shit up! Yep. Thanks to all of ya'll who wrote to me and sent me some good wishes. Love ya'll!

Pre-order Blackout Now Ya'll!

2007-10-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

Good Stuff Ya'll!

2007-10-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Ya'll have got to try this drink I been drinkin. It's called Fanta. I think they call it that cos it's Fantastic! It's real good. You can order it below, but tell em Cheetohgirl sent ya!

Good times ya'll!

Who The Heck is Britney Houston?

2007-10-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

I mean I've heard of Whitney Houston, but who the heck is Britney Houston? Is this person makin fun of me ya'll?

This is Disgustin Ya'll!

2007-10-16T07:45:00.001-07:00

OMG Ya'll: Cheetos Lip Balm!

2007-10-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger Ya'll,

Can you believe they are now makin Cheetos Lip Balm? It's lip stuff that tastes like Cheetos.

It's made in New York by Lotta Luv LLC.

If I find a place you can buy this stuff I am sho goin to post it for ya'll!

Good Times Ya'll!

2007-10-16T07:07:00.001-07:00

I'm having some good times ya'll! I had me some good frap again and went to the police place to take care of some personal stuff. I had some auditions for my tour and all that stuff, but I had to do it by tape 'cos I was so busy like with my personal stuff and all that. I'm about to drink my first frap of the day. Should I go for a venti? It sure does sound good ya'll!

Sang That Song!

2007-10-15T13:43:00.001-07:00

Cheetoh Girl Music Club

2007-10-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

I just now got me a copy of my ex's cd. No. Not Kevin's. Yuck ya'll. I got the one by Justin! I had one of the paps go in the store and buy it for me. He sure did bring me some Sexy Back ya'll! I hope I can do that too. My cd is so sexy. It's kind of like a sexier version of Madonna's Erotica album ya'll! I guess I should have a music club like she's got on her blog. Don't tell her I copied that idea. That book club was Oprah's idea first ya'll!

A Message To Ya'll Fans All Over The World!

2007-10-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Thanks to the power of the internet and something called Babelfish, I am going to try and post a message to ya'll amazin fans. The first part is English. I'm not a expert at English either, but ya'll should understand what I'm sayin. Ain't technology somethin. I never dreamed I could communicate with folks all over the world like this ya'll!

I would like to thank ya'll fans for your continued support. We are releasing the album early due to the huge demand for it ya'll!

Ik zou ventilators ya'll voor uw voortdurende steun willen danken. Wij geven het album vroeg wegens de reusachtige vraag naar het vrij ya'll!

Je voudrais remercier des ventilateurs de ya'll de votre appui continu. Nous libérons l'album tôt dû à la demande énorme d'elle ya'll !

Ich möchte ya'll Ventilatoren für Ihre anhaltende Unterstützung danken. Wir geben das Album früh wegen der sehr großen Nachfrage nach ihr ya'll frei!

Θα επιθυμούσα να ευχαριστήσω τους ανεμιστήρες ya'll για τη συνεχή υποστήριξή σας. Απελευθερώνουμε το λεύκωμα που οφείλεται νωρίς στην τεράστια απαίτηση για το ya'll!

Vorrei ringraziare i ventilatori del ya'll per il vostro supporto continuato. Stiamo liberando presto l'album dovuto la richiesta enorme di esso ya'll!

私はあなたの継続的だったサポートにya'll ファンに感謝することを望む。私達はそれのための巨大な要求のためにアルバムをya'll 早く解放している!

나는 너의 계속한 지원을 위해ya'll팬을 감사하고 싶으면. 우리는 그것을 위해 거대한 수요에 만기가 되는 앨범을 일찌기ya'll발표하고 있다!

Eu gostaria de agradecer ventiladores do ya'll para sua sustentação continuada. Nós estamos liberando o album cedo devido à demanda enorme para ela ya'll!

Я хотел был бы возблагодарить вентиляторы ya'll для вашей продолжаемой поддержки. Мы выпускаем альбом раньше должный к огромному требованию для его ya'll!

Quisiera agradecer los ventiladores del ya'll por su ayuda continuada. ¡Estamos lanzando el álbum temprano debido a la demanda enorme para ella ya'll!

Cheetoh Girl Book Club: Lion, Witch, Wardrobe

2007-10-14T18:45:00.003-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Ya'll have got to read this book or at least keep it with you to make you look smart! I have been readin this sucker for a few days. I'm kind of bored with it. I might have to just rent the movie of this sucker ya'll!

OMG Ya'll Thanks!

2007-10-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Thanks to my fan Gina for sending this in to me. I had no idea that a venti java chip frap has so many of them there calorie thingies ya'll. Please notice that I am switchin to the grande size in the future. Thanks for helpin a girl out ya'll! The photo above is the nutrition info for a venti java chip frap. You're in for a shocker!

The Official Album Cover, Ya'll!

2007-10-12T11:50:00.000-07:00

Rock Out, Ya'll!

2007-10-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

The Hits Keep Comin' Ya'll

2007-10-12T08:48:00.001-07:00

Ya'll Sure Are Talented!

2007-10-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

This One's Good, Ya'll!

2007-10-12T06:31:00.001-07:00

OMG I Love This, Ya'll!

2007-10-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Ya'll have got to check out this here Youtube clip someone sent to me!

I WON, YA'LL!

2007-10-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

I get to keep the kids one night a week overnight! YAY! SorRy for the Crazy typin but I'm so excited. Wow! I'm gonna have ta go to sTarbucks now ya'll! Finally a girl gets a break ya'll!

Pink Eye Hurts, Ya'll!

2007-10-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

My God ya'll this pink eye stuff is the pits. If you ever get it, you will see what I'm talkin about. That judge is about to get on my last nerve. If he won't give me my kids back, I might have to go over his head! I will let you know more later tonight ya'll. Keep yer fingers crossed for me!

Wish Me Luck, Ya'll!

2007-10-11T06:17:00.001-07:00

I'm going to court today and tryin to get my kids back. I hope it works. Pray for me, ya'll. If this goes good, I got something I'll post later that'll make you laugh!

This is Crazy, Ya'll!

2007-10-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

I'm Clean

2007-10-09T12:44:00.000-07:00

I passed my drug test, ya'll! I am goin to get my youngins back soon! Just watch me! I think Java Chip Frap is my new drug of choice. Thank God they don't test for that ya'll!

Work It, Ya'll!

2007-10-09T12:41:00.001-07:00

Single Now Available

2007-10-09T08:06:00.001-07:00

You can now purchase the single for "Gimme More" from Amazon.com, ya'll!

This is Disgusting, Ya'll!

2007-10-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

Venti Venti Venti

2007-10-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

I went to Starbucks this mornin and the idiot gave me a tall. I had to send it back. I always want Venti. I said gimme more gimme gimme more! LOL. I kill me! They should know by now that I want the whipped cream and the works! I wish they had an XL-Venti. The venti doesn't last long enough!

Orange Glow

2007-10-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

I saw Christina the other day and she had this strange orange glow. It reminded me of when I eat Cheetos and they stain my hands that bright orange color. Hey, that's a good idea ya'll. They could sell that stuff and you'd just rub it all over and look tanned! Ha! Ha!

My new single is sellin like hotcakes ya'll. Mmmmm. I need to send my bodyguard to IHOP! He better get my frap or I might go ballistic.

You Abandoned Me....

2007-10-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

One of my friends abandoned me today. I don't know how to feel about it. She was really important to me. She always made sure I had my fraps and all ya'll! I don't know what I'll do now. I've lost some people very important to me lately. I have a license and all, but what's up with that judge? Thanks to all of you who have sent your prayers and cards. Thanks for all of you who purchase my songs. I need to hear some "I love you's" form all the people who care when I'm out tomorrow. I'll probably go to the tanning place tomorrow. Please yell. Let me know you care. If I'm crying, it's cos those people won't let me have no peace ya'll.

Tanning is Good for the Soul

2007-10-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Thanks to one of my friends I tried that Kabbalah stuff for a while. I didn't get anything out of it though. It was so serious, ya'll. I also got tired of that red string. It kept getting caught on things. It's also hard to tan because it causes a white tan line around your wrist and it looks god awful.

That makes me think...Tanning is good for the soul. I feel more at ease in a tanning bed than any place else on earth. I lie there and think about what I'm going to do today. Like what frap I will have or a new kind of Dorito chip to try. It's almost a spiritual experience. Do ya'll tan?

Smile

2007-10-02T12:33:00.001-07:00

My grandma always said

"Turn that frown upside down"
I try to but it keeps turnin back around

180 degrees is all that's between me and a smile
180 degrees seems like 500 miles

I'm tryin to smile ya'll
But I keep havin to bawl
You mustn't walk before you crawl
It's going to be awhile
Till then I'll fake smile

Mood Swings

2007-10-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I'm havin mood swings today. One minute I'm laughin and the next I'm in tears thinkin sad thoughts. I don't know what makes me like this. Some times life just ain't fair. I feel like the world is out to get me now. The only people who treat me good are the ones who are crazy or on my staff! Errrrrrrgh! I just have to let off some steam. I know I shouldn't go clubbin tonight, but I am so tempted. I want to show the world that I am happy somehow. I don't know what else to do.

I'll Be OK

2007-10-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Thanks to all of you for standing behind me at this difficult time. I will be ok. It's just going to take time ya'll. I am listening to sad songs right now. I'm so depressed. I just wanna spend as much time with the kids as I can for now. I'll write more later.

Thanks ya'll!

Pray for Me, Ya'll

2007-10-01T14:04:00.001-07:00

Cold-Hearted Snake

2007-10-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

My ex is a cold-hearted snake. That song is so in my iPod right now! I mean the jerk wants to take my kids! The nerve. He makes me sick! I think I need another Venti Java Chip Frap ya'll. They say I have to have a California license to drive here. I thought I could use the one I got in my home state. I thought all the states were connected ya'll! I guess we aren't free anymore!

Fan Mail of the Day

2007-10-01T09:10:00.001-07:00

Dear Cheetoh Girl,

I'm one of your biggest fans! The Grateful Dead has Deadheads and now you have Cheetoheads! Keep on keepin' it real. I took this photo to show my devotion to you. I hope you keep on blogging!

Love,
Cheetohead

Recipe of the Day

2007-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

CHEETO OMELETTE

5 eggs
1 fresh medium jalapeno peppers -- cored and minced
1/3 cup green peppers -diced
1/3 cup red peppers - diced
1/3 cup onion - diced
1/3 cup sharp cheddar cheese - grated
1 teaspoon Tabasco
1 teaspoon cilantro - finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 or 2 Tablespoon butter - for fryin'
Cheetos of your choice (as many as you want ya'll)

Melt butter in a large, heavy frying pan.

Add jalapeno peppers, green peppers, red peppers and onions and saute until onions become transparent. Season with salt, pepper, Tabasco and cilantro. Beat eggs with 1 Tablespoon of water and slowly pour throughout the sauteed mixture.

Simmer covered over low heat until the eggs are set. Add cheese and Cheetos to one side and carefully flip the other side over. Remove from heat and cover for an additional minute to melt the cheese completely.

Fresh and spicy ya'll. If you want it mouth-burning hot, don't core the jalapeno. The seeds are the hottest part ya'll!

Cryin' Brats

2007-10-01T07:51:00.001-07:00

I can't do anything without my brats cryin. It gets so annoyin. Take my advice. Never have kids ya'll. It's not fun. You can never have freedom again. Nope. You are a slave to them forever!

Cheetoh Girl Book Club: Feeling Good

2007-10-01T06:29:00.001-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I don't like to read a lot ya'll, but my shrink suggested this book. It's supposed to make you feel better about yourself, but so far it's not helping me. Have you read it? If so, please comment. Maybe your insight will help some of us who don't get it yet.

Chris Crocker Inspiration

2007-09-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I would like to thank Chris Crocker for all of the positive vibes. I also want to thank all of you who have written to me with words of kindness.

Recipe of the Day

2007-09-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

GIMME MORE CHEETO CASSEROLE
4 to 6 chicken breast, cooked and cut up 1 can cream chicken soup 4 boiled eggs, chopped 1 onion, chopped 1/4 c. mayonnaise 1/4 to 1/2 c. celery, chopped Crushed Cheetos for topping Ya'll should mix above ingredients together and put in long casserole dish. Crush enough of them Cheetos to cover top. Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes ya'll!

Friends

2007-09-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

You can't depend on anybody. I have a hard time keeping friends. I've been stabbed in the back so many times. I can't believe I'm spilling my heart out like this on the web. Oh well. Nobody is reading this anyway. I have been listening to this song a lot lately. I just wish something would happen to make me smile again. You know what I mean?

I need friends. Add me to your blog roll. Send me an email with a link to your site. If my site is on your blog roll, I will add you to mine. Cheer a girl up. Click here to send me email. Thanks ya'll.

Love,
CG

What A Night!

2007-09-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I got drunk again last night. I didn't wear panties when I went out again too. You only live once and I wanna live life to the fullest. I am watchin that movie The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston and Keven Costner. Why can't I have a cute bodyguard and have a happy endin too? My bodyguards all cause me problems. Fat jerk!

I'll write more later.
Bye ya'll!

Cheetoh Girl Book Club: The Secret

2007-09-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I have been tryin so hard to cheer up and all, but nothin seems to help. My friend suggested to me to read that book called The Secret. I read that thing and I been doin what it said. I think positive and all, but I keep havin negative things happenin to me. I did have somethin positive happen today. I was thinkin sweet thoughts and ended up with another Java Chip Frap! I had to go through hell to get it though! People were everywhere takin my picture and all. I thought of it and I guess I willed that Venti Frap into being. I guess that book does work afterall!

I'm Crying Now!

2007-09-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger ya'll,

Oh my God ya'll. This song made me cry. It's so touchin. You just have to listen to it! I think I just cried some tears into my Java Chip Frap! I'm so pathetic today. I dropped a Cheetoh into my bra accidentally and I fished that sucker out and ate it! I'm so depressed still. Never have children!

Just Gettin Home, Ya'll

2007-09-29T04:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I went out with some friends tonight and everybody else was just a smilin, but I just couldn't smile. My life has changed so much. People used to like me a lot and all. They thought I was pretty. Now they say I'm fat or bloated. I know I'm not as hot as before having the kids, but give a girl a break! I feel better already. Who knew talking about your problems to a blog could be so therapewtick?

Thanks for bein here!
Cheetoh Girl

Why Cheetoh Girl?

2007-09-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogger,

I'm so down today. People are making fun of me. They are not just laughing behind my back, but also to my face. Ya'll people out there sure can be cruel. Why Cheetoh Girl? I know that's what you're a wonderin. I named my blog Cheetoh Girl because people keep talking about me eating Cheetohs. I also figure nobody will ever see this blog and it will keep it low-profile. That name has nothing to do with that awful singing group the Cheetah Girls. Naw, ya'll this ain't no Cheetah Girls! I better go. I'm going to get my Venti Java Chip Frap! That's some good stuff there ya'll! They say what hurts us makes us stronger. I hope so. I feel a brain freeze coming on ya'll!

See ya later!
Cheetah Girl